Just a little carry on, ignore please!
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Every child must be asked that question, right? You know what my answer always was, whether I said it out loud or not,.............. a mum. That is all I wanted to be. Even in Year 12, when it was time to pick a Uni course, I didn't know what to choose. I think I chose Physical Education, what was that about????
It wasn't until I had "grown up" more, and tried some other things that I chose Nursing, and I really only chose that because I want to be a Midwife. Had the Bachelor of Midwifery been around when I was ready to start, I would have done that.
Even now, I have chosen that "career" because of my interest in pregnancy, babies, breastfeeding and attachment parenting. What does this all have to do with my blog, you say??
I want to have another child. I have three beautiful, healthy children, two boys and a girl. I am a selfish person. I agree totally with that. I should be grateful for what I have, when so many couples can't have children at all. I know this. I know how lucky I am, but you know what?? I still want another child.
I was watching the kidlets play at the park on Sunday, and I just kept thinking, someone is missing. I feel like we are suppose to have another child to complete our family. I had started to feel more settled with the boys both at school and Matilda growing up and becoming more independent, but I am not settled. I am anxious, obsessed, and slowly becoming depressed that I will never have this child that I have dreamed about, and long for.
We are in a precarious financial position, not destitute, but not well off. We live with Mick's Mum, in her house, and we are not going to be in a position to buy a house until I am working full-time. But, I don't care if we never own a house. I think there is still plenty of time for that, and I want to make sure our family is complete before we put ourselves in that, overwhelming financial position. The difference between Mick and I is that I want a family, and he wants stuff. I don't care about stuff, I care about family.
Anyway, what can I do? He has made his decision, and I can't go against it. I have to try to survive my pain and longing, in silence, because I am not allowed to speak of it.
My SIL is pregnant, and unfortunately suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum, and all I can think is I wish it was me, because then I would be pregnant. I am happy for my SIL and brother, of course, but I am extremely sad as well. I am finding it difficult to get through a day without experiencing a slump, at some stage or another.
Oh well, that is my biggest problem. Not so big in the scheme of things really. Sorry for the carry on.....
Every child must be asked that question, right? You know what my answer always was, whether I said it out loud or not,.............. a mum. That is all I wanted to be. Even in Year 12, when it was time to pick a Uni course, I didn't know what to choose. I think I chose Physical Education, what was that about????
It wasn't until I had "grown up" more, and tried some other things that I chose Nursing, and I really only chose that because I want to be a Midwife. Had the Bachelor of Midwifery been around when I was ready to start, I would have done that.
Even now, I have chosen that "career" because of my interest in pregnancy, babies, breastfeeding and attachment parenting. What does this all have to do with my blog, you say??
I want to have another child. I have three beautiful, healthy children, two boys and a girl. I am a selfish person. I agree totally with that. I should be grateful for what I have, when so many couples can't have children at all. I know this. I know how lucky I am, but you know what?? I still want another child.
I was watching the kidlets play at the park on Sunday, and I just kept thinking, someone is missing. I feel like we are suppose to have another child to complete our family. I had started to feel more settled with the boys both at school and Matilda growing up and becoming more independent, but I am not settled. I am anxious, obsessed, and slowly becoming depressed that I will never have this child that I have dreamed about, and long for.
We are in a precarious financial position, not destitute, but not well off. We live with Mick's Mum, in her house, and we are not going to be in a position to buy a house until I am working full-time. But, I don't care if we never own a house. I think there is still plenty of time for that, and I want to make sure our family is complete before we put ourselves in that, overwhelming financial position. The difference between Mick and I is that I want a family, and he wants stuff. I don't care about stuff, I care about family.
Anyway, what can I do? He has made his decision, and I can't go against it. I have to try to survive my pain and longing, in silence, because I am not allowed to speak of it.
My SIL is pregnant, and unfortunately suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum, and all I can think is I wish it was me, because then I would be pregnant. I am happy for my SIL and brother, of course, but I am extremely sad as well. I am finding it difficult to get through a day without experiencing a slump, at some stage or another.
Oh well, that is my biggest problem. Not so big in the scheme of things really. Sorry for the carry on.....
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