Hopeless

For weeks I have been so excited about attending the Rally to protect Women's Choice for Homebirth, in Canberra. For weeks I have been discussing it on the Joyous Birth forum, with like-minded people. I was so excited to be going, and to meeting all these women face-to-face. So of course, I got so worked up about it over the last two days, that I made myself sick.

I went to bed last night, early. Everything was packed, clothes were ready. I knew that I had to spend at least 4.5 hours in a minibus. That was the first problem. I don't like being stuck in a vehicle that I have no control over. I also didn't know anyone who was going, and I am positive these would have been wonderful women and families, but I am still, a very shy person. But the biggest problem about the whole thing was........................................I have separation anxiety.

Yes, I am a 34 year old women who can't cope with being separated for long periods from her children. I can go and stay with Mum, and I am going to have a weekend away with Julie and another friend soon, but 5 hours away is just too far. I fear that if something happened to me, I would never see them again....I know it is completely stupid, but the panic attack I suffered at 3:30am this morning put a stop to any thoughts of taking this trip.

From all accounts, the Rally went really well. Lots of great speakers, and over 2000 women and their families turn out in fairly yucky weather. I will be watching the news closely tonight and anxiously awaiting photos and video from the Rally and the JB dinner the night before.