World Breastfeeding Week
This week is World Breastfeeding Week and I wanted to blog a little about my feelings towards my breastfeeding journey.
I had no doubt that I would breastfeed all my children, and I have been extremely lucky to have been able to, but along the way I made some stupid choices which changed the way I fed my children and I would love to debrief, so to speak, about how I feel about those choices.
Harry was born in 2001 and our breastfeeding journey started off very roughly. He was a little early (approx 3 weeks) and was taken, unnecessarily I now think, to the NICU. He was very tired and didn't suck well. Under extreme pressure, and whilst playing on my emotions as a first time mum, I agreed to giving Harry ABM through a nasogastric tube. After days in the NICU and after finally weaning him off the ABM (at mine, my MIL's and the LC's insistence), and Harry began to feed straight away.
He was a long feeder. He would feed for an hour at a time, to begin with, but we eventually figured it all out and I feed him, on a schedule, until he was 10 months. At this time I began to supplement was ABM, under the belief that it would help him sleep-through-the-night. I guess it worked, but was probably just a coincidence.
I feel STUPID for believe this information without further research.
I feel SAD that I didn't know about breastfeeding during pregnancy and so I weaned Harry completely at 13 months.
Charlie was a brilliant breastfeeder. He was quick and efficient and I really enjoyed feeding him in the early days. He loved breast milk and he slept like a dream.
I feel GUILTY that I allowed my PND and my ED to rob my of what would have been a long and enjoyable journey with Charlie. I feel GUILTY that at 10 months Charlie weaned himself because I was smoking so heavily to deal with my depression and to control my appetite. I feel ANGRY that I put those things ahead of my child.
Matilda was born quickly and she fed soon after birth, but something wasn't quite right was her latch. She would only feed lying down, and it wasn't until she was 8 months old that we realised that she had a tongue tie. It wasn't severe, but it made feeding long and it was a pain to feed her lying down all the time.
I felt DEVASTATED when she weaned herself at 14 months, and SAD that I didn't persevere in the hope that she would start again. She may have only been getting another tooth and I feel I gave up too soon. I think she would have kept going. I almost slipped back into a depressive state.
Amelia was born after a fast labour and into water. Her birth was calm and she fed straight away. So far we have had a wonderful journey. She was fed on demand and she was worn close for the first 12 weeks.
I am feeding her to sleep, which isn't always ideal, especially in the middle of the night, but I am really enjoying this time with her. In around 3 weeks I will have past my previous "record", for want of a better word. I am hoping to feed Amelia well past her 2nd Birthday, and ideally after her 3rd Birthday.
I feel JOY at having had the opportunity to breastfeed all of my children. I know there are woman who are physically unable to do so. I feel FORTUNATE that I was not one of those women.
I had no doubt that I would breastfeed all my children, and I have been extremely lucky to have been able to, but along the way I made some stupid choices which changed the way I fed my children and I would love to debrief, so to speak, about how I feel about those choices.
Harry was born in 2001 and our breastfeeding journey started off very roughly. He was a little early (approx 3 weeks) and was taken, unnecessarily I now think, to the NICU. He was very tired and didn't suck well. Under extreme pressure, and whilst playing on my emotions as a first time mum, I agreed to giving Harry ABM through a nasogastric tube. After days in the NICU and after finally weaning him off the ABM (at mine, my MIL's and the LC's insistence), and Harry began to feed straight away.
He was a long feeder. He would feed for an hour at a time, to begin with, but we eventually figured it all out and I feed him, on a schedule, until he was 10 months. At this time I began to supplement was ABM, under the belief that it would help him sleep-through-the-night. I guess it worked, but was probably just a coincidence.
I feel STUPID for believe this information without further research.
I feel SAD that I didn't know about breastfeeding during pregnancy and so I weaned Harry completely at 13 months.
Charlie was a brilliant breastfeeder. He was quick and efficient and I really enjoyed feeding him in the early days. He loved breast milk and he slept like a dream.
I feel GUILTY that I allowed my PND and my ED to rob my of what would have been a long and enjoyable journey with Charlie. I feel GUILTY that at 10 months Charlie weaned himself because I was smoking so heavily to deal with my depression and to control my appetite. I feel ANGRY that I put those things ahead of my child.
Charlie 5 months
Matilda at birth
Amelia was born after a fast labour and into water. Her birth was calm and she fed straight away. So far we have had a wonderful journey. She was fed on demand and she was worn close for the first 12 weeks.
I am feeding her to sleep, which isn't always ideal, especially in the middle of the night, but I am really enjoying this time with her. In around 3 weeks I will have past my previous "record", for want of a better word. I am hoping to feed Amelia well past her 2nd Birthday, and ideally after her 3rd Birthday.
Amelia at 2 weeks
I feel JOY at having had the opportunity to breastfeed all of my children. I know there are woman who are physically unable to do so. I feel FORTUNATE that I was not one of those women.
Happy World Breastfeeding Week to everyone.
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